November 2011
Freddie: We’d be good together. Don’t you think?
Effy: No
Freddie: Why?
Effy: Because I’ ll break your heart
Freddie: Maybe I’ ll break yours
Effy: Nobody breaks my heart.
You’re not crazy, you’re just lonely. And loneliness is a hell of a drug.
Sometimes I turn around and catch the smell of you and I cannot go on, I cannot fucking go on without expressing this terrible so fucking awful physical aching fucking longing I have for you. And I cannot believe that I can feel this for you and you feel nothing. Do you feel nothing?
People have scars. In all sorts of unexpected places. Like secret roadmaps of their personal histories. Diagrams of all their old wounds. Most of our wounds heal, leaving nothing behind but a scar. But some of them don’t. Some wounds we carry with us everywhere and though the cut’s long gone, the pain still lingers.
All die Jahre, wo sind die nur hingekommen? All...
I remember I need to forget everything I ever said to you. If I could take it back- I’d eat every word.
There is a sadness in me I don’t understand, and I want to be protected but instead I just become more and more of an introverted asshole who wants to run away.
Ich bin mit dem Herzen bei den alten Zeiten und es tut mir weh zu sehen, wie sich alles verändert hat.
I miss you. I miss how close we used to be, I miss how much we used to talk, I miss how much you used to care, I miss how much I used to see you and how much time we used to spend thogether but I guess it doesn’t matter to you anymore.
It’s my fault, isn’t it? Fuck this. Fuck this wondering. Fuck this trying. Fuck this belief that two people can become one ideal. Fuck this helplessness. Fuck this waiting for something to happen that probably won’t ever happen.
There are some things about myself I can’t explain to anyone. There are some things I don’t understand at all. I can’t tell what I think about things or what I’m after. I don’t know what my strengths are or what I’m supposed to do about them. But if I start thinking about these things in too much detail the whole thing gets scary. And if I get scared I can only think about myself. I become really...
Women like being desired. Just throw her up against a wall and start kissing her. Chances are she’ll kiss you back, and if she doesn’t, at least you tried. You’ve got to do something or else you’ll lose her.
I’m not proud of how much I need you. In fact, I wish I didn’t need you. I can’t even explain how much easier life would be.
dreamtakerrr fragte: YEEEEEEY Germany! <3
Have you ever wondered why even if someone is too numb to feel you or insensitive to notice you, you still choose to stay? It’s because beyond what others see in that person, you feel that tiny chance that maybe if you hold a little bit tighter, he will learn to love you.
The worst thing about this is that while you feel hurt and angry and all the rest of it, it feeds you self-doubt. You start thinking, perhaps I am not good enough.
It’s a withdrawal of love, coupled with rejection. That combination is hard to accept, and often triggers feelings of not good enough, failure at relationship, insecurity, lack of trust and other feelings.
I’d give him another chance, since I never really gave up. It seemed like I moved on, but all I did was pick myself up and tried being happy. If you have to know, you were always at the top of my heart.
